Manipulate your meat stylus for iPhone

It’s a wrapped sausage for iPhone touch screens

"If only I could update my Facebook with these!"

Why is the meat stylus for iPhone wrapped? Because things could get messy very quickly, that’s why. You know what I’m talking about: smears and juice everywhere as you wildly attempt to communicate with a world whose hunger is gradually ascending as bloodlust before the onslaught of raw animal stink. But that’s only if you use the good sausage. Cheap stuff is just lips and sphincters, the kind of stuff you wouldn’t eat even if the smell of quick cash was nipping at your nose.

Koreans love their meat stylus for iPhone

According to Wired, South Korean sausage maker CJ Corporation loves the cold winter weather. They’re experiencing a boom on their “Max Rods” sausage fingers1, largely because people don’t like to have to take off their gloves to use their iPhone touch screens. We know CJ Corporation serves South Korea rather than North Korea because iPhones in the north are small cardboard boxes filled with fireflies. If you find incomprehensible English translations to be amusing2, check out the Google translation of the original article from South Korea’s ITNews24 Web site. Then tell me what “maekseubong sausages” and “yiramyeo experiences” are. If they involve a wild ride in Seoul and require quick cash, I’ll be sure to load up first.

CJ Corporation Max Rods sales up 40 percent

People are able to keep their gloves on and wield sausage in the recreational manner it was intended. When the meat becomes too misshapen to press on for lurid tweets, it becomes a tasty snack. It sounds like much more fun than those space-age iPhone gloves3 you don’t have to take off while you spank your online BFF at Farmville (or whatever you do on the farm). CJ Corporation wants you to grab their meat while the grabbing’s good, because as the ITNews24 headline reads, “CJ Corporation’s mini-sausages in fever Max rods admire the ‘iPhone Special’ is a ride.”


No longer will I have to struggle with my number rods: “Max rods instead of your fingers if you use the pen to the increasing number rods, Max is under the spotlight’s netizens.” But if I have to wait long for my turn with the meat, at least give me some kimchee and one of those box wines that look like Capri Sun and I’ll be happy. This is your quick cash blogger, and I must know, “Hwajangsiri eodiyeyo4?”

Related Video:

  1. “Max Rods” sausage fingers
  2. incomprehensible English translations to be amusing
  3. space-age iPhone gloves
  4. Hwajangsiri eodiyeyo